Nightly Monster.....

Last night the Nightly Monster reared its ugly bastard head again . Was not having the best night at the Place I Hate , Yet getting through with little problems while listening to I.C.P. . Thats when I found out that I made the #2 soccer team , was not good enough for the #1 team but none the less I get to go to the soccer tournament up north in May. Was feeling rather good so I told my Wife that I made the team , need less to say my Evil Bastard that runs loose and rampid with a nazi youth dagger in my mind decided to go ahead and start craving up any bit of good that could have come from a conversation . Everything quickly went to hell in my head and he was having fun rolling in the blood and remains of what was a decent time . During my conversation via text messaging , which is all I can do at the time and place The Bastard came in and highjacked what little control I had of reality at the time . He read into the messages and turned everything inside out and made me dout thing wit my relationship . Why is the biggest thing that hits me in the head every time , when things are happy and good he stabbs the dagger deeper in my mind and twist it until I am questioning all that is good with me . Is it me ? Is that why she shys away , why does she not want to get close , why do I feel I am at the bottom of the power pole in the house . Why do I feel like all my wants get looked over because the wants of others are more important , why is everyone else more important than me ? Need less to say I crucified myself in my mind after The Nightly Monster went and put my mind in choke hold and laughed at me for screwing eveything up . Now that I feel like complete shit again reliving it over and over in my head I will go , need to get ready to do it again tonight at The Place I Hate the most in life . Lets see what will happen tonight .
P.A.